I'm very excited. I think I may have rediscovered the passion of purpose in my life. I want to make an actual difference in energy conservation and alternative power generation in my community. I'm throwing myself completely into helping to make this dream a reality.
What I envision is a community effort with input from all the people who have any interest in this. In my mind's eye, I see a beautiful, towering, 1 GW wind turbine, arms reaching for the sky in a kind of ballet of hope for tomorrow. But that is a private image that may not prove to be practical or acceptable to the people of Rindge.
In any case, my motivation is not to build my kind of "science fiction" view of the project. My goal is to help Rindge build a power infrastructure that puts it into a position of having a sustainable local economy.
I have confidence that, as a community, we can research the possibilities together and make some choices. While we're looking for our "mother lode" of power, we can begin reducing our consumption and supporting people in the community who have the means to build alternative energy systems for their own properties.
We could even help someone start a business composting corn plastics...perhaps on the Famm Steel property? Would that be a good site for a wind turbine too?
I spent the morning at the Rindge Transfer Station helping with the Woman's Club sorting of recyclables out of the roadside trash pickup for Earth Day. They let me set up a table and talk to people about starting a committee or energy resource commission in town. I had a lot of interesting conversations with people in town. Some people think that photovoltaic is the way to go. One guy was pretty convinced that we don't have enough wind to even consider a wind turbine. Several of the people I spoke with had made improvements for energy conservation and were researching generating their own electricity via wind or solar. Seven people signed up to be involved.
I think this is going to be one of the greatest adventures of my life.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Vernal Equinox
Yesterday was the Vernal Equinox. http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/03/photogalleries/equinox-solar-new-year/photo6.html
My plan is to celebrate it by cleaning the house and yard. I might even build a small fire to burn some of the smaller branches.
In some parts of the world, it marks the beginning of the New Year.
Along with cleaning my house and yard, I'm going to try to clean out all the old resentments and negative thoughts that keep me from moving forward. Of course, there will always be things that happen that hurt your feelings or cause you to feel like you should just give up. There are a few of those bouncing around in my head right this moment. My thought is that if you don't meet them head on, analyze and address them, they just keep blocking new ideas and new opportunities.
1.) I submitted my 'writer's profile" to Monadnock Writer's Group several months ago, but they never published it. I'm a member. I sometimes go to meetings. I wanted people to read my blog and give me feedback. Is my writing so bad that they decided not to include me? Should I just forget about writing?
2.) I have a degree in engineering and patents for computer inventions. I'm still working on an MS in computer science; which I think demonstrates my willingness and ability to continue learning. But, at work, I am most valued and rewarded for assisting the sales admin with clerical tasks.
I'm the IT person, but our UK office thought it was okay to move our public website without letting me know when they did it. (I knew it was being moved, but I was told they would let me know when it happened.) I only got told after people came to me to complain that the website wasn't working.
There was also a phone conference on a Lotus application launch...I was invited to the first one and brought my Domino expert consultant. Another meeting was scheduled, but I wasn't invited...he was! He is a contractor who charges 6X per hour what I'm paid. Wouldn't it make sense to involve me so that I could do the legwork and some of the implementation under his direction?
What is going on here? I keep the systems running, I solve people's technical problems. I answer technical questions with documentation and references.
I didn't get a pay increase this year either. I asked what the reason was; were they unhappy with my work? No, I was told, the decision was made by senior management and no reasons were given; just the amounts to be given out. I have it in writing.
I've been there two years without a performance review.
Am I so unpleasant, uncooperative, incompetent, or what? It makes no sense to me unless I'm totally deluded about my own performance...
3.) I love to dance, but there are elements of taking dance class that are not entirely comfortable for me. I'm in a modern class with other adults. When we started working on a performance piece, I lined myself up in the front row with a much younger and MUCH better dancer. I'm almost 60; she's barely 20...and her dancing is more than 3Xs as good as mine. I just didn't think about it.
Last week the teacher started talking about moving us around so that the same people weren't always in the front. I feel a little embarrassed, like my dancing isn't good enough to be out in front...or that maybe the other people in the class think I believe I'm a good dancer ( I actually do think I have my moments, but know I have limitations too)...or, who knows? I've been dancing the longest of anyone in the class.
I've been struggling with this for several years now. It seems that if I dance with MoCo, I always wind up in the background as part of the toddler or "creative dance" classes. I'm not the only one, but it feels a bit like a put-down to me.
In Irish Dance it is almost impossible for me to learn and keep up with some of the faster dances. It's embarrassing how awful I look in the traditional Irish Dance costume and wig. I hate looking at pictures of myself on the ID website. Am I holding the adult group back from looking very professional? I know I'm expected to practice and that's at least part of the reason that the other adults are so much better. It's just that I've been dancing longer than almost anyone else in the school, but I don't seem to be improving.
Is it, finally, time to hang up my dancing shoes?
If I could only let go of the pride issue; I could recognize the fact that I dance for EXERCISE. I don't practice because I have other things in my life that are more important to me, so I don't have time.
Maybe the solution is to stop performing?
4.) I'll never finish my master's degree. That's my fear. I am actually making progress on it, but I have a lot of anxiety about it.
There are probably several more negative ideas that hold me back from enjoying my life as much as I could. I bet everyone has a few of these? I'm not sure that I've resolved any of them completely, but I plan to write them on a piece of paper and burn them as I work in the yard today!
Happy Equinox!
My plan is to celebrate it by cleaning the house and yard. I might even build a small fire to burn some of the smaller branches.
In some parts of the world, it marks the beginning of the New Year.
Along with cleaning my house and yard, I'm going to try to clean out all the old resentments and negative thoughts that keep me from moving forward. Of course, there will always be things that happen that hurt your feelings or cause you to feel like you should just give up. There are a few of those bouncing around in my head right this moment. My thought is that if you don't meet them head on, analyze and address them, they just keep blocking new ideas and new opportunities.
1.) I submitted my 'writer's profile" to Monadnock Writer's Group several months ago, but they never published it. I'm a member. I sometimes go to meetings. I wanted people to read my blog and give me feedback. Is my writing so bad that they decided not to include me? Should I just forget about writing?
2.) I have a degree in engineering and patents for computer inventions. I'm still working on an MS in computer science; which I think demonstrates my willingness and ability to continue learning. But, at work, I am most valued and rewarded for assisting the sales admin with clerical tasks.
I'm the IT person, but our UK office thought it was okay to move our public website without letting me know when they did it. (I knew it was being moved, but I was told they would let me know when it happened.) I only got told after people came to me to complain that the website wasn't working.
There was also a phone conference on a Lotus application launch...I was invited to the first one and brought my Domino expert consultant. Another meeting was scheduled, but I wasn't invited...he was! He is a contractor who charges 6X per hour what I'm paid. Wouldn't it make sense to involve me so that I could do the legwork and some of the implementation under his direction?
What is going on here? I keep the systems running, I solve people's technical problems. I answer technical questions with documentation and references.
I didn't get a pay increase this year either. I asked what the reason was; were they unhappy with my work? No, I was told, the decision was made by senior management and no reasons were given; just the amounts to be given out. I have it in writing.
I've been there two years without a performance review.
Am I so unpleasant, uncooperative, incompetent, or what? It makes no sense to me unless I'm totally deluded about my own performance...
3.) I love to dance, but there are elements of taking dance class that are not entirely comfortable for me. I'm in a modern class with other adults. When we started working on a performance piece, I lined myself up in the front row with a much younger and MUCH better dancer. I'm almost 60; she's barely 20...and her dancing is more than 3Xs as good as mine. I just didn't think about it.
Last week the teacher started talking about moving us around so that the same people weren't always in the front. I feel a little embarrassed, like my dancing isn't good enough to be out in front...or that maybe the other people in the class think I believe I'm a good dancer ( I actually do think I have my moments, but know I have limitations too)...or, who knows? I've been dancing the longest of anyone in the class.
I've been struggling with this for several years now. It seems that if I dance with MoCo, I always wind up in the background as part of the toddler or "creative dance" classes. I'm not the only one, but it feels a bit like a put-down to me.
In Irish Dance it is almost impossible for me to learn and keep up with some of the faster dances. It's embarrassing how awful I look in the traditional Irish Dance costume and wig. I hate looking at pictures of myself on the ID website. Am I holding the adult group back from looking very professional? I know I'm expected to practice and that's at least part of the reason that the other adults are so much better. It's just that I've been dancing longer than almost anyone else in the school, but I don't seem to be improving.
Is it, finally, time to hang up my dancing shoes?
If I could only let go of the pride issue; I could recognize the fact that I dance for EXERCISE. I don't practice because I have other things in my life that are more important to me, so I don't have time.
Maybe the solution is to stop performing?
4.) I'll never finish my master's degree. That's my fear. I am actually making progress on it, but I have a lot of anxiety about it.
There are probably several more negative ideas that hold me back from enjoying my life as much as I could. I bet everyone has a few of these? I'm not sure that I've resolved any of them completely, but I plan to write them on a piece of paper and burn them as I work in the yard today!
Happy Equinox!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
I missed an important anniversary
December 10, 2008 was the 60th anniversary of the adoption and proclamation of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights" by the General Assembly of the United Nations. You can read the declaration at http://www.un.org/Overview/rights.html
I bring this up because, as I look around the world and within our own country, I see that we truly need to embrace that declaration.
It's difficult.
In our own country, we have people who want to impose their religious views on others. And, quite honestly, whether you look at the Taliban or the Christian Right, you see forces who wish to govern our lives, not based upon the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights," but upon their scriptures and religious teachings.
The declaration actually talks about "social safety nets" and the right to a living wage. It talks about the right to open and free expression of religious views, but it also warns against imposing those views on others. It is basically a reiteration of "Do unto others..." and "Love thy neighbor as thyself."
I find it SO interesting that the people most likely to be aggressively christian are also the ones to be uber-patriotic and very vocal about "supporting our troops."
"What's interesting about that," you may ask?
Did you know that the US Military recognizes almost 40 different religious markers for graves? See http://www.cem.va.gov/cem/hm/hmemb.asp for a list. That list includes the symbols for Islam, Buddhism, agnostics, and Wicca.
How do the flag-waving, bible-thumping zealots reconcile their support of the military with denial for our soldiers to worship (or not) as they see fit?
Personally, I don't think they can. If you support this country, you support the separation of church and state and the freedom of religious expression and choice.
As a veteran of the US Air Force, I know that being a patriot is more about service to one's country...whether formal military service or community volunteerism, than waving flags, spouting slogans, or pasting decals on one's vehicle. Whatever money is spent on those decals would be better spent in a donation to a veteran's shelter or the USO. The money for those decals usually winds up in China.
And we all, every US citizen, have a responsibility to defend the freedoms outlined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the US Declaration of Independence, and the United States Constitution. Whether it is our personal freedoms that are under attack or those of another creed, race, sex, or ethnic group, as citizens we have both the right and the responsibility to speak up and defend those rights with our whole being.
So, today, though I am late, I celebrate the 60th anniversary of the declaration of human rights and hope that reason and brotherly and sisterly love will prevail.
I bring this up because, as I look around the world and within our own country, I see that we truly need to embrace that declaration.
It's difficult.
In our own country, we have people who want to impose their religious views on others. And, quite honestly, whether you look at the Taliban or the Christian Right, you see forces who wish to govern our lives, not based upon the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights," but upon their scriptures and religious teachings.
The declaration actually talks about "social safety nets" and the right to a living wage. It talks about the right to open and free expression of religious views, but it also warns against imposing those views on others. It is basically a reiteration of "Do unto others..." and "Love thy neighbor as thyself."
I find it SO interesting that the people most likely to be aggressively christian are also the ones to be uber-patriotic and very vocal about "supporting our troops."
"What's interesting about that," you may ask?
Did you know that the US Military recognizes almost 40 different religious markers for graves? See http://www.cem.va.gov/cem/hm/hmemb.asp for a list. That list includes the symbols for Islam, Buddhism, agnostics, and Wicca.
How do the flag-waving, bible-thumping zealots reconcile their support of the military with denial for our soldiers to worship (or not) as they see fit?
Personally, I don't think they can. If you support this country, you support the separation of church and state and the freedom of religious expression and choice.
As a veteran of the US Air Force, I know that being a patriot is more about service to one's country...whether formal military service or community volunteerism, than waving flags, spouting slogans, or pasting decals on one's vehicle. Whatever money is spent on those decals would be better spent in a donation to a veteran's shelter or the USO. The money for those decals usually winds up in China.
And we all, every US citizen, have a responsibility to defend the freedoms outlined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the US Declaration of Independence, and the United States Constitution. Whether it is our personal freedoms that are under attack or those of another creed, race, sex, or ethnic group, as citizens we have both the right and the responsibility to speak up and defend those rights with our whole being.
So, today, though I am late, I celebrate the 60th anniversary of the declaration of human rights and hope that reason and brotherly and sisterly love will prevail.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
25 Things About Me
Please don't go away! I'm really not planning to list 25 things about me. I just love the whole concept of it. One of my Facebook friends sent me a "note" that read,
"Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.) Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you."
I made my list and then "tagged" 25 of my friends (that was almost everyone!) on FB. That meant I had to send it to some "friends" whom I don't know very well. At first I felt uncomfortable and a bit shy about asking them, but then I thought, "That's the whole point; catch up with what old friends have been doing and learn more about new friends!"
It's an exhausting exercise to be sure, but wonderfully cathartic! One day later, I would probably change some of the information. For instance, I wonder if anyone else has ever experienced waking up with bags under their eyes after getting too much sleep?
In summary, try writing 25 things about yourself and get your friends to do the same. It's really fun!
"Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.) Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you."
I made my list and then "tagged" 25 of my friends (that was almost everyone!) on FB. That meant I had to send it to some "friends" whom I don't know very well. At first I felt uncomfortable and a bit shy about asking them, but then I thought, "That's the whole point; catch up with what old friends have been doing and learn more about new friends!"
It's an exhausting exercise to be sure, but wonderfully cathartic! One day later, I would probably change some of the information. For instance, I wonder if anyone else has ever experienced waking up with bags under their eyes after getting too much sleep?
In summary, try writing 25 things about yourself and get your friends to do the same. It's really fun!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
The Great Ice Storm of 2008...continued
It's been 4 weeks since the power was restored after the storm. Until yesterday, I was still counting my blessings and feeling as though the storm acted like a reset button on my life. I appreciated EVERYTHING; being warm, having lights to hold back the dark of night, and running water (HOT and cold) to flush toilets, take showers and wash clothes.
I felt an appreciation for the suffering of people in war-torn countries like Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, and Israel. I felt a solidarity with the people of India who often only have access to water for a few hours a day. Hearing about such things and living them are totally different experiences.
I've heard experts say that social attitudes are pretty much formed by the time a person is seven years old. After that, the only way to really change an attitude is through experience. Telling someone a thing is right or wrong just doesn't have much impact...they have to live it.
I wanted to change my life, change my attitude, make a difference in the world.
Now, I feel that underlying sense of discontent creeping back into my life.
I don't feel motivated to do much of anything except complain.
I am unhappy with myself for all of my failures and shortcomings. There are many. I should have control over most of them, but I don't seem to be able to get it together enough to tackle these challenges.
I guess the upside (if there is one) to confronting the fact that I disappoint myself, is that I find it pretty easy to forgive the failings of others. Although...
A person I admire has scolded me for this; saying that accepting and forgiving another person's flaws is just a form of enabling. I'm still trying to sort this out. Am I so forgiving because I'm enabling myself to be less than I ought to be...everyone (including myself) is a disappointment in some way? Why should I be any different?
At this low moment, I try to remind myself of the things that all the wise people in life have told me:
1.) Try to be useful to someone...everyday.
2.) Perform an act of kindness...everyday.
3.) Take a step, no matter how small, in the direction you want to go.
So, today, I signed up for an activity http://www.usaservice.org/page/event/detail/4jwsz in honor of the "National Day of Service" and supported some kids from Peterborough, NH who are selling "Obama Bread" to benefit "Free the Children." http://www.usaservice.org/page/event/detail/4vclr
I bought a low-flow shower head that I'm going to install today.
And, I will at least LOOK at my thesis project for two hours.
Peace
I felt an appreciation for the suffering of people in war-torn countries like Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, and Israel. I felt a solidarity with the people of India who often only have access to water for a few hours a day. Hearing about such things and living them are totally different experiences.
I've heard experts say that social attitudes are pretty much formed by the time a person is seven years old. After that, the only way to really change an attitude is through experience. Telling someone a thing is right or wrong just doesn't have much impact...they have to live it.
I wanted to change my life, change my attitude, make a difference in the world.
Now, I feel that underlying sense of discontent creeping back into my life.
I don't feel motivated to do much of anything except complain.
I am unhappy with myself for all of my failures and shortcomings. There are many. I should have control over most of them, but I don't seem to be able to get it together enough to tackle these challenges.
I guess the upside (if there is one) to confronting the fact that I disappoint myself, is that I find it pretty easy to forgive the failings of others. Although...
A person I admire has scolded me for this; saying that accepting and forgiving another person's flaws is just a form of enabling. I'm still trying to sort this out. Am I so forgiving because I'm enabling myself to be less than I ought to be...everyone (including myself) is a disappointment in some way? Why should I be any different?
At this low moment, I try to remind myself of the things that all the wise people in life have told me:
1.) Try to be useful to someone...everyday.
2.) Perform an act of kindness...everyday.
3.) Take a step, no matter how small, in the direction you want to go.
So, today, I signed up for an activity http://www.usaservice.org/page/event/detail/4jwsz in honor of the "National Day of Service" and supported some kids from Peterborough, NH who are selling "Obama Bread" to benefit "Free the Children." http://www.usaservice.org/page/event/detail/4vclr
I bought a low-flow shower head that I'm going to install today.
And, I will at least LOOK at my thesis project for two hours.
Peace
Friday, December 26, 2008
The Great Ice Storm of 2008
Life, as I knew it, changed dramatically on December 11th during an outrageous ice storm here in Rindge, New Hampshire. All through the night we heard cracks like gunshot as limbs bent and snapped under the weight of the ice and snow. The lights flickered on and off several times before going out completely.
In all my 59 years I have never lived without electricity for more than a day or two. Even when I went camping, I stayed in places that had showers with hot water...and it was summertime.
This was something totally different.
We had no electricity for nine days and no phone for six days. Having no electricity meant having no heat, lights or running water.
Unfortunately we don't have a wood stove or fireplace, so we were reduced to using a kerosene heater to try to keep the house warm enough to prevent the pipes from freezing. We turned the heater off at night so we wouldn't accidentally die of carbon monoxide poisoning while we slept. When I'd wake up in the morning, the house would be 42 or 43 degrees Fahrenheit. Chilly to say the least! In the evenings, we'd run the heater, make coffee, soup, and hot chocolate over Sterno cans, and light candles everywhere. The warmest we got the house was 56 degrees.
Our neighbors have a generator and generously allowed all the neighbors to use an outdoor faucet at their house for water. Still, it meant hauling water in jugs and buckets at all hours of the day and night.
For a day or two, living life as though we were in the 19th Century was not only challenging; it was also a bit romantic. By day three; it got old.
Talking about being sent back in time doesn't really do the experience justice. I don't know if I'm capable of articulating what I lived through...how it felt...
I'll try again later...
In all my 59 years I have never lived without electricity for more than a day or two. Even when I went camping, I stayed in places that had showers with hot water...and it was summertime.
This was something totally different.
We had no electricity for nine days and no phone for six days. Having no electricity meant having no heat, lights or running water.
Unfortunately we don't have a wood stove or fireplace, so we were reduced to using a kerosene heater to try to keep the house warm enough to prevent the pipes from freezing. We turned the heater off at night so we wouldn't accidentally die of carbon monoxide poisoning while we slept. When I'd wake up in the morning, the house would be 42 or 43 degrees Fahrenheit. Chilly to say the least! In the evenings, we'd run the heater, make coffee, soup, and hot chocolate over Sterno cans, and light candles everywhere. The warmest we got the house was 56 degrees.
Our neighbors have a generator and generously allowed all the neighbors to use an outdoor faucet at their house for water. Still, it meant hauling water in jugs and buckets at all hours of the day and night.
For a day or two, living life as though we were in the 19th Century was not only challenging; it was also a bit romantic. By day three; it got old.
Talking about being sent back in time doesn't really do the experience justice. I don't know if I'm capable of articulating what I lived through...how it felt...
I'll try again later...
Thursday, December 11, 2008
A letter to Marion Stoddard
Dear Ms. Stoddard,
This is an "open letter" that I posted on my blog and intend to send to you. I hope you don't mind my making my personal letter to you public, but I hope after you read through it, you'll understand and excuse me.
You don't know me, but I used to live in Groton on Hayden Road about 20 years ago. I joined the NRWA after attending a lecture on the life of indigenous turtles. I was drawn to the lecture because I had observed Box Turtles and Painted Turtles crossing my yard to get to the swamp across the street.
I believe I bought a couple of books on turtles after the lecture and also joined NRWA.
There was construction going on at the end of Hayden Road and the construction crews killed many of the turtles in the road. Someone in the neighborhood put up Turtle X-ing signs, but I don't think it helped much.
When I actually caught a turtle in the process of crossing the road, I would stop my car and guard its passage.
This ridiculous behavior gave me plenty of time to think. Mostly what I would think about was that, based on their size, some of these turtles were probably about the same age as I was at the time. I'd also wonder if the turtle survived crossing in one direction, would it make it going the other way?
These turtles had been crossing that same ground for as many years as I'd been on the Earth. They had survived the change from a few cottages and farmland to the first couple of housing developments. Now, they were being decimated because they couldn't change their paths or their habits.
I wonder if any of the turtles I saw cross the road are still alive?
After joining the NRWA, I learned about what you did to bring the Nashua River back to life. The legend at the time was that in mid-life, you looked for a cause, a purpose to your life, and decided that you would bring the Nashua River back to life. What an inspiration!
I have often thought of that lesson. I'm still looking for my legacy cause and hope I will find the strength and passion to serve it well. I've had causes, but not the legacy one yet.
I still consider myself mid-life, though I'm 59 years old. To be completely honest, I feel bewildered by the expectation of people in my industry that I'm close to retirement. I started a graduate program in computer science at Fitchburg State when I was 53. I did it to maintain relevance in my field. It hasn't helped my career very much but I really enjoyed it. Now, if I could just finish my thesis...
I'm struggling with who I am now. Am I more or less? Am I like the turtle who just HAS to keep crossing the road; threatened with being mowed down by forces never encountered before?
I have always written as a form of therapy, but it has usually been informal with no particular topic as the focus. When I moved to Rindge, NH in 1999, I joined the Monadnock Writers Group. I confess that I am mostly a "writer groupie," but lately I've been doing a lot of writing. Probably a reflection of how disturbed I am with my situation.
I started blogging partly as a way of exploring writing and partly to prove to myself that I can still be "relevant." So far, I think only my daughter actually reads my posts, but I'm enjoying the process thoroughly.
In the process of writing and feeling a bit discouraged by a futile search for a better job, I thought of you. Or should I say, I thought of you as the legend I'd heard about.
I decided that I would research and write about women who took up a cause or realized a major accomplishment beginning later in life. I figure I might learn something that will make me feel more hopeful and just going through the exercise will be inspiring. I plan to write about you and Doris Haddock to start.
When I actually started doing online research, I realized that you were far from being middle-aged when you started. I estimate that you could only be 35 years old. So, it's not exactly the story I expected; an empty nest, a search for a cause and fulfillment.
But, as I thought about it, the story seemed even more wonderful. It seems, from what I read, that the cause found you. The time wasn't convenient; you had young children. You and your family made sacrifices for the Nashua River.
Then, I had all these questions. Did you THINK you were middle-aged at 35? Is that how the legend started? Who was Marion Stoddard before she moved to Groton? Were you interested in the environment as a young person growing up?
I hope it's not an imposition to ask these questions? You may reply either by email or by calling me. If you prefer, you can post a comment to my blog at: http://patmartin2894@blogspot.com
Thank you so much in advance for any consideration you may give my request.
Sincerely,
Pat Martin
This is an "open letter" that I posted on my blog and intend to send to you. I hope you don't mind my making my personal letter to you public, but I hope after you read through it, you'll understand and excuse me.
You don't know me, but I used to live in Groton on Hayden Road about 20 years ago. I joined the NRWA after attending a lecture on the life of indigenous turtles. I was drawn to the lecture because I had observed Box Turtles and Painted Turtles crossing my yard to get to the swamp across the street.
I believe I bought a couple of books on turtles after the lecture and also joined NRWA.
There was construction going on at the end of Hayden Road and the construction crews killed many of the turtles in the road. Someone in the neighborhood put up Turtle X-ing signs, but I don't think it helped much.
When I actually caught a turtle in the process of crossing the road, I would stop my car and guard its passage.
This ridiculous behavior gave me plenty of time to think. Mostly what I would think about was that, based on their size, some of these turtles were probably about the same age as I was at the time. I'd also wonder if the turtle survived crossing in one direction, would it make it going the other way?
These turtles had been crossing that same ground for as many years as I'd been on the Earth. They had survived the change from a few cottages and farmland to the first couple of housing developments. Now, they were being decimated because they couldn't change their paths or their habits.
I wonder if any of the turtles I saw cross the road are still alive?
After joining the NRWA, I learned about what you did to bring the Nashua River back to life. The legend at the time was that in mid-life, you looked for a cause, a purpose to your life, and decided that you would bring the Nashua River back to life. What an inspiration!
I have often thought of that lesson. I'm still looking for my legacy cause and hope I will find the strength and passion to serve it well. I've had causes, but not the legacy one yet.
I still consider myself mid-life, though I'm 59 years old. To be completely honest, I feel bewildered by the expectation of people in my industry that I'm close to retirement. I started a graduate program in computer science at Fitchburg State when I was 53. I did it to maintain relevance in my field. It hasn't helped my career very much but I really enjoyed it. Now, if I could just finish my thesis...
I'm struggling with who I am now. Am I more or less? Am I like the turtle who just HAS to keep crossing the road; threatened with being mowed down by forces never encountered before?
I have always written as a form of therapy, but it has usually been informal with no particular topic as the focus. When I moved to Rindge, NH in 1999, I joined the Monadnock Writers Group. I confess that I am mostly a "writer groupie," but lately I've been doing a lot of writing. Probably a reflection of how disturbed I am with my situation.
I started blogging partly as a way of exploring writing and partly to prove to myself that I can still be "relevant." So far, I think only my daughter actually reads my posts, but I'm enjoying the process thoroughly.
In the process of writing and feeling a bit discouraged by a futile search for a better job, I thought of you. Or should I say, I thought of you as the legend I'd heard about.
I decided that I would research and write about women who took up a cause or realized a major accomplishment beginning later in life. I figure I might learn something that will make me feel more hopeful and just going through the exercise will be inspiring. I plan to write about you and Doris Haddock to start.
When I actually started doing online research, I realized that you were far from being middle-aged when you started. I estimate that you could only be 35 years old. So, it's not exactly the story I expected; an empty nest, a search for a cause and fulfillment.
But, as I thought about it, the story seemed even more wonderful. It seems, from what I read, that the cause found you. The time wasn't convenient; you had young children. You and your family made sacrifices for the Nashua River.
Then, I had all these questions. Did you THINK you were middle-aged at 35? Is that how the legend started? Who was Marion Stoddard before she moved to Groton? Were you interested in the environment as a young person growing up?
I hope it's not an imposition to ask these questions? You may reply either by email or by calling me. If you prefer, you can post a comment to my blog at: http://patmartin2894@blogspot.com
Thank you so much in advance for any consideration you may give my request.
Sincerely,
Pat Martin
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